I know in my head that I am not alone...I mean, come on, the Holy Sprit is dwelling IN me... Fully God, dwelling on the inside...
Staying at home with two little ones, it seems I am never physically alone...
That is not the loneliness I am talking about...
Some days it seems like no one "understands"
No one "gets me"
No one "knows all that I do"
No one "serves ME"
No one "remembers me or is thinking of me"
My husband asked me the other day if I walk around feeling like the victim... I said no but as I've been processing this...I think I do... I think it is a symptom of loneliness...
Loneliness lies to you...it traps you into thinking you got the "bad end" of the stick...
It leaves this ugly black cloud over you that sucks all the joy out of the air...
I am done allowing this cloud to hang out in my home... in my heart... and over my head...
The only way to chase this cloud away is to fellowship with the Holy Spirit! I have to talk to God, who lives in me, who sees ALL that happens in my day, who knows all my emotions, who is the Sympathetic High Priest. I am not alone, and all that I do matters, either for good or for evil... I want GOOD!
This is how I fellowship with Holy Spirit: I pray through the acronym F.E.L.L.O.W.S.H.I.P
*Fear of the Lord-I ask the Lord to increase the fear of the Lord (Ps. 86:11)
*Endurance (patience)- I ask the Lord to strengthen my sprit, that I would not quit. (Eph. 3:16)
*Love-I ask the Lord for His love (Romans 5:5)
*Light of glory- I ask the Lord for encounters with His Spirit, I want dreams and visions. (Ps. 4:6)
*One thing- I ask the Lord to give me eyes like doves, to have a single devotion for the Word (Ps. 16:8)
*Walk worthy- I ask the Lord to help me walk worthy of my highest calling (1 Thes 3:13)
*Speech-I ask the Lord to put a guard on my lips, I want to speak life and not death (Ps. 141:3)
*Humility-I ask him to let me learn to walk as He did, which means lowliness of heart. I ask for wisdom on how to carry my heart in humility (Matt 11:29)
*Insight- I ask the Lord to reveal the scriptures to me, that I would gain His heart of love that would help me to LIVE in union with him (Eph 1:17)
*Peach and Joy- (This i my FAVORITE-cause I NEED it most right now)- I ask the Lord to strengthen me with supernatural peace and joy that would overpower my anxiety. (Romans 15:13)
I go through these fairly fast unless I don't want to :)... I know that my 5 second prayers work, so I never worry about time :) and it is so simple that I can do it while I change diapers, do laundry, play with my kids, cook dinner or as I'm falling asleep... sometimes I only do one of them :)
All I know is that it works to chase away that ugly cloud of LONELINESS!
Just for fun cause I really like my kids :)
look at those LIPS!!
Easter egg hunt :) she wasn't too interested in finding eggs as much as the swing set and the ball in the bushes :)
I never heard that acronym before I like it thanks for sharing. Yes with kids sometimes 5 minute prayers are all you get, that and praying with them for their boo boos!
ReplyDeleteAwhh thanks for sharing your honest struggle. I remember someone told me this once... LONG days but short years. Some days felt like they would never end but when I looked back they went so stinking fast! I'm sure you can relate! One thing I would encourage you to do if u haven't started is get the word in those little minds however you can... Through tapes and stories. Songs and poems. I used the word and song Bible and tapes. I let the kids fall to sleep on those messages pumped into their subconscious. They would memorize those Bible stories and songs and still say verses and sing some today. You will never feel a greater applause then you feel when you start reaping the reward that comes with pouring your life and your love for Jesus into theirs. There is no greater joy! God sees. And he's dancin over you tonight my sweet amber!! You are doing a GREAT work!!
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